It was a weird April night as I made my way back to my cozy UWS apartment from the office. It felt more like a late summer night instead of early spring...it was crazy breezy and warm, litter is flying everywhere, making me carefully maneuver my way up the sidewalk and barely missing a dirty remnant of someone's morning newspaper by a hair. A saucy character walks past me and says "howdy girl" as if he knew I had ties to Texas, but how? Lady GaGa's "Let's Dance" anthem is still pounding on my ipod, with her duet partner Colby O'Donis' hypnotic voice cooling my nerves. Pharrell singing “Boys Remix” with Britney back in 2002 had a similar effect on me; his voice was like silk and I never forgot it. I’m watching my shadow on the buildings and I can see my deflated curls still bouncing in the breeze. I could not wait to walk inside the door and rip off the layers of pearl necklaces I had layered around my neck. And kiss my Texan hello. Everything seemed so nonchalant, semi-charmed on the surface tonight. But it was so the opposite...

Hello Cherry Tree...It's been a while.

It's "spring" in Manhattan.

I went to work the other day without a scarf for the first since November. There's a beautiful cherry tree on 105th street that saw its little green buds shyly surface, getting ready for their resplendent bloom. And yesterday, I spring-cleaned my cubicle. Recycled a year's worth of fashion magazines and all my old files and presentations. I then went on a "delete" rampage with my Lotus Notes...Every insignificant email was exterminated forever from my database. Nothing was spared. Yet, I still feel clogged.

I am finally going back to Louisiana next week, the first time since Christmas holiday. I can't wait to see my family, my Sweet Pea, my Izzie-Boo. Eat crawfish. Go to Walmart. Walk bare feet in the grass. Make a mess in my Mama's kitchen with my faltered attempts at cooking a Vietnamese dish...Feel summer on my face in the middle of April, because it's already 85 degrees down there.

The truth is...as much as I love Manhattan...as much as I feel like this is the only real city worth living in, I always freaking wonder why is it...That I felt like I had to come here to discover myself. Why did I choose a career that is only possible/lucrative in Manhattan?

I guess I had to come here....To realize what it is that I really want. A life in Louisiana. A house in the Garden District in New Orleans. Or a house by the LSU Lakes...I want family reunions every weekend. Going shopping with my sisters. Sitting on the sofa next to my mom while my feet safely warms up under her backside.